Corn Harvest In Iowa

Don't you just love the smell of corn in the morning?



Remember its harvest time. Let's all be careful out there.

The Real McCoys - Corn Eating Contest

Suspect Spotted - Allowed to Leave Country

This picture was recently discovered at a Canadian border station. Regrettably the driver and his truck when not detained. It seems his manifest declared that all he was carrying was a bolonga sandwich and a six pack of Mountain Dew. The clueless border agent has been reassigned.



Minnesotans remain fearful that the bandit will return. Night watches are cropping up all over the state.

Citizen Calls for State Emergency

Late Friday night Baldur Finstad a local electrician was called out to see why the automatic lights in the pagoda where not on. What he discovered may have changed his life forever. "I had just finished a lutefisk sandwich when I got the call. How do you move a twelve foot ball of twine weighing in at 17,400 pounds, and why would you do it?" Those same questions are weighing heavily on the minds of the local citizenry of Darwin, Minnesota today.


According to Mr. Finstad there are no tracks to be found and all the plexiglass is in place. "Even the vent tourists use to sniff the twine ball is intact."

Recent attacks on the monuments of Minnesota have the state up in arms. The disappearance of the Darwin Twine Ball is the fourth known attack. It is believed that other attacks may be planned. The randomness and the distances between these events offers no clue where the culprits may strike next.

Eric Ellefsen is worried that the states great fish may be in danger. "Has anyone checked on the monuments in Orr, Garrison, Lake Kabetogama, and Preston? This is a state emergency. Our very identity is at stake here."

Fearing that the Twine balls disappearance will impact tourism, the souvenir shop is offering a two for one sale on starter kits and is asking that all the towns folk pitch in to build a new ball.

Weird Al Yankovic who once immortalized the town was too saddened to comment. Here he is from a past concert singing about the beloved Twine Ball.

Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming
After workin' all year down at Big Roy's Heating and Plumbing.
So one night, when my family and I were gathered round the dinner table, I said,
"Kids...If you could go anywhere in this great big world,
now Where'd you like to go to?"
They said, "Dad, We wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota."
They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.

So the very next day we loaded up the car with potato skins and pickled weiners,
Crossword puzzles, Spiderman comics and mama's homemade rhubarb pie,
Pulled out of the driveway, and the neighbors, they all waved goodbye
And so began our three-day journey.
We picked up a guy holdin' a sign that said "Twine Ball or Bust,"
He smelled real bad, and he said his name was Bernie.

I put in a Slim Whitman tape
my wife put on a brand new hair net
The kids were in the back seat jumpin' up and down
yellin' "Are we there yet?"
And all of us were joined together in one common thought
As we rolled down the long and winding Interstate in our '53 DeSota
We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota!!
We're headin' for the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota!!

Oh, we couldn't wait to get there, so we drove straight through
for three whole days and nights
(Of course, we stopped for more pickled weiners now and then).
The scenery was just so pretty,
Boy, I wish the kids could've seen it
But you can't see out of the side of the car
because the windows are completely covered
with the decals from all the places where we've already been.

Like Elvis-a-Rama, the Tupperware Museum,
The Boll Weevil Monument, and Cranberry World,
The Shuffleboard Hall of Fame, Poodle Dog Rock,
And the Mecca of Albino Squirrels.
We've been to ghost towns, steam parks, wax museums,
And a place where you can drive through the middle of a tree.
Seen alligator farms and tarantula ranches,
But there's still one thing we've gotta see.

Well, we crossed the state line about 6:39
And we saw the sign that said, "Twine Ball Exit - fifty miles."
The kids were so happy, they started singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" for the 27th time that day.
So we pulled off the road at the last chance gas station
Got a few more pickled weiners and a diet chocolate soda,
On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.

Finally at 7:37 early Wednesday evening, as the sun was setting in the Minnesota sky,
Out in the distance, on the horizon it appeared to me
like a vision before my unbelieving eyes.
We parked the car and walked with awe-filled reverence toward that glorious huge, majestic sphere.
I was just so overwhelmed by its sheer immensity, I had to pop myself a beer.
Yes on these hallowed grounds, open 10 to 8 on weekdays,
in a little shrine under a makeshift pagoda,
There sits the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
I tell you, it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.

Ohhh, what on Earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing?
Ohhh, windin' up twenty-one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string!
What was he tryin' to prove?
Who was he tryin' to impress?
Why did he build it? How did he do it?
It's anybody's guess.
Where did he get the twine? What was goin' through his mind?
Did it just seem like a good idea at the time?

Well we walked up beside it and I warned the kids,
"Now you better not touch it, those ropes are there for a reason."
I said, "Maybe if you're good, I'll tie it to the back of our car, and we can take it home."
But I was only teasin'.
Then we went to the gift shop and stood in line
bought a souvenir miniature ball of twine,
Some window decals, and anything else they'd sell us.
And I bought a couple postcards: "Greetings from the Twine Ball, wish you were here."
Won't the folks back home be jealous.

I gave our camera to Bernie and we stood by the ball,
And we all gathered around and said, "Cheese."
Then Bernie ran away with my brand new Instamatic,
But at least we've got our memories.

So we all just stared at the ball for awhile
And my eyes got moist, but I said with a smile,
"Kids, this here's what America's all about."
Then I started feelin' kinda gooey inside,
And I fell on my knees and I cried and cried.
And that's when those security guards threw us out.
You know, I bet if we unravelled that sucker, it'd roll all the way down to Fargo, North Dakota.
'Cause it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
I'm talkin' 'bout the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.

We stayed that night at the Twine Ball Inn
In the morning we were on our way home again
But we really didn't wanna leave, that was perfectly clear.
I said, "Folks, I can tell you're all sad to go"
Then I winked my eye and I said, "You know,
I got a funny kinda feeling we'll be coming back again next year."
'Cause I've been all around this great big world and I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather go to
Than the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
I said the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota!!!
Minnesota!!
Minnesota!!!
Minnesota!!!!!

Update: More Breaking News From Minnesota

There is news out of International Falls this morning. It seems that a young bear cub has been separated from his sibling and his uncle. Our investigative team has arrived on the site and sent us this disturbing image. Is no monument safe?

Smokey as he once stood.



This latest attack occurred 179 miles north of Aitkin. Will the bandit strike again? I suspect that it is a strong possibility


The national guard has been recalled from Darwin to assist in the northern territory. Is this a smart move?

Stay tuned for further details.

Dateline Aitkin Minnesota:

It seems the monument bandit is at it again, this time striking 115 southwest of Bemidji in the town of Aitkin. It seems that even the defender of the poor is not safe here in Minnesota.

Here is a picture taken only hours ago. Note there are no footprints in the snow.

Robin as he once proudly stood

State Icon of Minnesota Missing

Shown here in this vintage photo taken in Bemidji, Minnesota, Paul Bunyan greets visitors to the town. Nearby is Paul's House, an amusement park, and a number of his favorite trading posts. Paul's iconic statue has stood watch here since 1937.

That is, until recently. Last week is was reported that Paul is missing. Only Babe, his faithful blue ox remains on the site. Below is a picture of the site as it appears today. There are no known leads in the case. If you spot any clues report them to Andy right away. I hear he is very upset.

Here in two parts, is Paul's story as presented in 1958 by Walt Disney.

Tourism Department

It's never to early to book you're stay in Mitchell, South Dakota. Make plans today and visit during the "Corn Palace Festival" August 26th through the 30th.

If your a little bit Country and a little bit Rock n Roll you can't go wrong with this years musical entertainment. Blake Shelton and Joan Jett.

Make plans today and prepare to be a-maized.

Corn-Charged Truck Up for Grabs

Enter for your chance to win.

This article appeared recently on iowacorn.org. Contest ends this June. You may enter once a month.

Feb 06, 2009

Iowa Corn launches Iowa Corn Fed Sweepstakes

In Iowa, it’s hard not to notice cornfields. It is even harder not to notice the many corn-fed industries from livestock to food, and, of course, corn ethanol!

“Corn ethanol kept Iowa’s fuel prices well below the national average - even during really high prices last summer,” said Shannon Textor, market development director for Iowa Corn. “By launching an educational campaign about our corn fed markets and giving away a corn-powered E85 Chevy Silverado, we hope to help Iowans understand that they win by being corn-fed, whether it’s food or fuel.”

The Iowa Corn Fed Sweepstakes includes the giveway of a souped-up 2009 black Chevy FFV Silverado. The truck will be on tour from January 15 to May 22 throughout Iowa, including promotions at Iowa State University, the Iowa spring football game, and many events at Wells Fargo Arena.

Consumers can enter the drawing once each month in person at tour stops or online at www.iacornfed.com. Weekly winners of beef, pork, dairy products, Indy 250 race tickets or ethanol prizes will be chosen, and ten lucky winners will attend the 2009 Iowa Corn Indy 250 on June 21, where one will draw the key that opens his or her new Iowa corn-fed truck.

“It’s time to be proud of the fact that we are able to feed and fuel the world with corn grown here in Iowa,” Textor said. “The Iowa Corn Fed Tour will build on and reinforce Iowans’ existing appreciation for corn and agriculture.”

The Iowa Corn fed Sweepstakes is part of a larger educational effort on television, radio, billboard, and the internet. The campaign highlights the many uses for corn and focuses on demonstrating how corn upholds Iowa, including the economy, jobs, the environment, and energy security.

Anyone who doesn’t see a corn- fed message in Iowa this year will be missing something!

Iowa Corn is proud to partner with the Premier 10 Chevy Dealers, Kum & Go, the Iowa Speedway and Mediacom to drive home the message of a corn-fed economy, corn-fed livestock and corn-fed fuel with the Iowa Corn Fed Tour. For ongoing corn- fed information, details about the FFV, contest entry rules, and a complete listing of corn- fed tour dates, consumers can turn to www.iacornfed.com.

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